Gullible

I'm currently hunting for a new home, having left my temporary sanctuary (it was near the beach, the cafes, the marina, the mall, Federation Walk and most importantly, contained SE, the loveliest person in the world). My landlord, possibly the nicest man when sober, is an abominable drunk.

Jan: I'm moving out today. Because you pissed on the couch and floor and you act super creepy when you're drunk.

ML: That's okay, you don't have to move! You can sleep in my bed!

Jan: ...

ML: I won't touch you. Not that I don't want to, because of course I do.

Jan: Like I said, I'm moving out today.


So whilst crashing at C's for time being, I've been flatshare-hunting. Which led me to this amazing deal. At AUD500/ month, for what appeared to be fully furnished room at this place.

It was a few hundred metres to the beach and shops at the most central location ever. I liked the facade of the building and was ready to make the required deposit of AUD750 (2 weeks rent and bond).

The only catch? The landlady, "Maria Domenica" was in the UK. Apparently her husband was ill. Her solicitor would send me the documents and would it be okay if I signed them and returned them back to her? Then I could make the deposit and she would send me the keys via next day courier service.

Now I come with a major flaw (actually several, but let's just keep this simple) - I'm extremely trusting. This has led me to many, many awkward situations and compromises. So I happily agreed to this arrangement and soon enough, "Steve Robin" sent me an email, requesting that I sign, scan and return the tenancy agreement to him.

The only problem was, there was no attachment to the email.

Right. Could be simple human error. Give benefit of doubt. Request for agreement. Notify "Maria Domenica".

"Steve Robin" then replied again, this time with an attachment. Only this time, the address for the unit was in the Northern Territory, which is about 2,000km from where I am. He also succeeded in getting my address and duration of lease wrong.

Wow. How do bozos like this actually get employed at all?

I explain the errors and email "Maria Domenica" again. I tell the lawyer to fix the issues.

Then SE calls me while I'm out with SK. She'd previously lived a few months in Denmark and had encountered a similar situation. "The landlord said he'd lived in Copenhagen for 5 years. He said he was in the UK and yet when I asked that he send the keys to a trusted friend, so I could exchange the keys for the deposit, he insisted he didn't know anyone."

Seed of doubt planted in my head, I requested the same of "Maria Domenica". She instead gave me her bank account details and insisted she needed my money because her husband was ill. At this point, I noticed a change in her writing style. From normal to all CAPS to all lowercase.

Anyone in the UK regardless of nationality can receive free medical care, thanks to the NHS scheme. I mean, how does AUD750 (GBP375 or so) help with anything really? It wouldn't even pay for her flight back to Australia. What nonsense.

I didn't bother replying and she immediately sent me scans of her passport. In her initial email, she'd mentioned she was Australian and 27 years old. The passport was Italian and her date of birth was April, 1982. I mean seriously, who gets their own age wrong (except for one time on an ice skating rink, but I forgot I'd just celebrated my 15th birthday)?

Once more, I ignored her email and resumed my hunt for a room on the same website.

There was an ad clearly from her, only this time she was masquerading as a 25 year old named Susan. The address given was neither the one we'd previously agreed on, nor the Northern Territory one. But the introduction was exactly the same as those in her email to me.

Sadly there wasn't a Report This As Fraud button. Let's hope the next person isn't as gullible.