If only fear was an adequate form of prevention

Parenting has been a question on my mind of the late. (Disclaimer: I AM NOT PREGNANT. REPEAT, I AM NOT PREGNANT) In fact, to ensure this state of non-pregnancy, I've undergone minor surgery which apparently has better chances of preventing conception than abstinence.

Yeah, I wonder about that too.

But I digress. Instead, what I've been pondering on relates to the actual raising of a child. The values passed on. A few days ago, my mother asked me if she failed me as a parent. Some ten years ago as an angry adolescent, I would have jumped at the opportunity to rub salt in the wound. Now in clearer hindsight, I realise I was blessed, that my parents had tried their best to ensure they didn't fail me the way their parents failed them. And in turn I too, will try my best to avoid all the pitfalls my parents made. That no one is perfect, that all we can do is our best.

Possibly a side effect of this aforementioned surgery (the hormones get messed up), but I've been looking at people differently. In terms of Would I Want This Person Near My Child. And of course should I choose to be pedantic about it, no one would be let near my offspring, not even I (possibly I'll just get SE to become godmother and get her to raise them instead). But things that irk me most are selfishness, self centredness (this coming from a person who writes a navel gazing blog), discourtesy, a lack of empathy, irresponsibility, amongst others. When I meet people who exhibit these values, I wonder what went wrong in their upbringing. The millions of variables, the lacking constants. I mean, some psychopaths have had happy childhoods, so who's to say what will happen regardless of all I may do?

I have friends who are completely laissez-faire about their kids; I know people who raise their children with an iron fist. I wonder if I'll be an adequate parent. There is a program in the US which pays drug addicts USD200 to get sterilised, to avoid them perpetuating the earth with their defective gene pools. I am sad to say a part of me agrees to this. But where is the love and forgiveness?