Conversations with my mother

DISCLAIMER: My mother and I ♥ each other very much. We just enjoy the odd nonsensical variation of the lectures/ monologues she gives me (usually pertaining to my declining state of spirituality/ what other people think of me/ how much our or her friend's relatives make).


Ma: For heavens sake, if you intend to do such things, don't broadcast them. Don't forget your father and I are alive and kicking!

Jan: That's very un-... nevermind.

Ma: You were about to say unfortunate weren't you?

Jan: Yes.

Ma: Bad girl! You might as well drown your own parents!

Jan: Don't worry Ma. When you die, I will have you cremated and flush your ashes down the toilet.

Ma: Don't talk nonsense.

Jan: Oh alright. I know you want to your urn to be beside Aunty Kim's. I'll even mix your ashes together and give it a little shake.

Ma: I changed my mind. I'm divorcing Aunty Kim.


Later on,

Ma: Don't be such a donkey.

Jan: But as my mother, if I'm a donkey, what are you?

Ma: ...