For a chronic dose of cuteness

Ron Mueck at the GoMA

Last weekend, KG brought my friend PS and I to Brisbane for a day. PS had flown in from Malaysia to spend a couple of days with us and I thought it would be nice for her to experience as much of Queensland as one could within 4 days.

The Ron Mueck exhibition at the Gallery of Modern Art had come highly recommended. Whilst waiting for KG, who was in line for the tickets, I came across this amusing piece near the entrance.

Too Much Sushi II by Niki Hastings-McFall. This will look extremely familiar to anyone who's ever been a student in Australia. I always wondered what to do with the packets.

Ron Mueck is a Melbourne-born, London-based artist who is most well-known for his lifelike fibreglass sculptures. Surprsingly, photography (though not flash photography) was permitted.

Dead Dad. This was the piece that shot him to fame. Mueck made this after his father passed away. It's also the only sculpture using his own hair.


A girl. The picture quality doesn't do this justice. The lashes are fine and sparse, the little hair on her scalp plastered.


Look at the detail on the toes.


I have no idea what the name of this piece is, but it's just perfect. Like the details on the ribs, the stray grays in the hair, the awkward, self conscious expression on his face...





This isn't a real hand, but look at the hairs, the veins and there's even sun spots so faint that the camera didn't pick it up. And the goosebumps on the skin of the buttocks. Amazing stuff.


Woman with sticks. One of the nicest things about the exhibition was how the sculpted pieces resembled real, normal people. With the current obssession on perfection, it was an actual relief to see some dimples (not just on the face), wrinkles and love handles.


In bed.


Wonder what she's thinking about?


Two women. This makes me think of famished, fearful Eastern Europe back in the day.


Old woman in bed. This is only a little one, but the detail once again, was wonderful. If you looked carefully enough, she even has teeth.


Man in boat.


Still life. A familiar scene at your local chicken rice stall.


No, it's not a real chicken. But feathers are used.


Pool time. I wonder if it was deliberately set crucifix-style?


I checked. His eyes are half open under those sunnies.


Mask II. This is a self portrait, which is hollow.


Even the five o' clock shadow consists of painstakingly embedded 'hairs' which are a fair bit thicker than your average foliage.


Not sure what this one is called. Perhaps a political message against violence in Africa?

It was strangely intimate, looking at these non-people people, mostly nude or in resting positions, often looking vulnerable. I once read Courtney Love's biography by Poppy Z Brite. After Kurt Cobain shot himself, she had casts made out of his hands. I suppose if I had the resources, I'd love to have some sculptures of people I love done, just to remember them by.

Aussification

Here are some random Aussie sayings picked up over the 21 months I've lived here. Make sure your boss isn't standing behind you - slightly NSFW picture ahead.

1. VB (pronoun/ abbreviation)
Victoria Bitters; some say the alcoholic choice for Aussies.

2. Mushies (noun/ abbreviation)
Magic mushrooms, also known as psilocybin mushrooms, which can be determined by the inner stalks that turn blue when exposed to oxygen.

3. Bong (noun)
Marijuana.

4. Rissoles (noun)
Meat patties made of questinable origins, usually barbequed until flavourless, then eaten with a healthy dose of ketchup.

5. Poofter (noun)
Derogatory slang employed to describe effeminate and/ or homosexual males.

6. Mate (noun)
Used to describe a person with whom one shares beer and occasional emotional intimacy, especially when drunk.

7. Friend (noun)
Used to describe a person with whom one shares emotional and occasionally physical intimacy, especially in uncommitted relationships.

8. WOG (abbreviation/ noun)
A derogatory colloquial term used to commonly describe people of Greek, Italian or Mediterranean descent. Ironically and originally stood for wiley oriental gentleman.

9. Septic tank (noun)
A derogatory colloquial term used to commonly describe Americans. Used, because it rhymes with Yank.

10. Islander (noun)
A colloquial term used to commonly describe people originating from neighbouring islands, including Papua New Guinea, New Caledonia and Naru.

11. Pomme (noun)
A colloquial term used to commonly describe British people, especially those from the United Kingdom. Often preceded with the description 'whinging'. Origins unclear, since pommes means apple in Francais.

12. Budgie smugglers (noun)
Obscene swimwear, usually favoured by old European men with A/ B cup chests and large potbellies. Or Tony Abbott.

Tony Abott (Photo credits)

13. DT's (abbreviation)
Stands for dick togs. See 12. And picture above.


14. The Seventh State (noun)
Refers to New Zealand. Term used to annoy emigrant Kiwis.

Holey moley!

Photo credit

This brings the saying hole in the ground to a whole new level. Read about it here.

God bless Guatemala.

Pulp wisdom

"Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?...That's when you know you found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute, and comfortably share silence."

Uma Thurman as Mia Wallace, to John Travolta as Vincent Vega
Pulp Fiction

Behold the nerd

The Top 100 books as per BBC. I finished 28 books, and 3 others partially, so does that count as 29? Am a wee disappointed some other awesome stuff didn't get through the list though.

I've heard many good things about Anna Karenina though. I shall get to that soon.

1. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien [Snore. Couldn't get past 3 pages.]
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams [Highly recommended if you love nonsensical philosophy like me.]
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee [I cried and cried and cried.]
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne [...and the Hundred Acre Woods.]
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller [I laughed and laughed and then I cried.]
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger [Juvenile and self-absorbed. Yawn.]
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D'Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving [John Irving is always reliable. The World According to Garp is amazing too.]
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll ["I'm late! I'm late!"]
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl [I fantasized about the roast meal in a gum for months and months.]
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson [Got it for my birthday but never read it.]
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery [I read and re-read the whole series.]
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett [Ananth and I used to watch and re-watch this video when we were kids. He hung himself from a ceiling fan when he was 14.]
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl [The Big Friendly Giant!]
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton [My brother has yet to forgive me for giving away all his Enid Blyton books. For the last time Bro, I said I was sorry!]
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding [I watched the movie in sick fascination though.]
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind [Ditto above.]
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl [I loved this as a kid. Clearly this contributed to my twisted psychology somehow.]
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy [Really beautiful.]
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett [I tried, but his style is just so grating. I don't know why.]
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho [Overrated. Snore.]
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez [The book was amazing but I didn't realise why X's sister raised an eyebrow at me when I said so, until I watched her copy of the movie. She probably thinks I'm a sex maniac now. Boobs galore!]
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot [Anne Hathaway looked so cute with the John Howard eyebrows.]
100. Midnight's Children, Salman Rushdie [I made it halfway through in spite of the lack of punctuation, but the library wouldn't further renew my loan. But the event of reading it was life changing in other ways.]

Angry

What that doesn't tell you is how it feels to sit there, watching someone you love get abused with crude expletives, the angers that arises to see him remain rational and polite to a raving lunatic. What it feels like to finally lose it, to say just exactly what you think, without anymore social niceties or decorum or treading on eggshells. What it feels like to call the neighbourhood police line and not be able to get through while being called a fucking Chinese bitch and being told I will fucking kill you and having our door slammed and banged on repeatedly, violently. What it feels like to have to dial 000 and be told this isn't a matter serious enough. Or how I shook uncontrollably through the whole ordeal. From anger, from helplessness, from hating myself for being so pragmatic because what I really wanted to go out there and do a Clint Eastwood a la Grand Torino and hold a shotgun between his eyes. Or how the tears wouldn't stop. Or how it feels to have your first real fight in your mild-mannered domesticity as you scream and cry and swear because your partner who is half the guy's size still wants to play hero and won't give you the keys. What it feels like to have the police saunter in 50 minutes later, nonchalant and blase.

Hopefully later today I'll know what it feels like to evict someone.

My Windows Media Player is retarded

I'm not sure what happened, but it might have contributed to the CD I burnt showing up as a blank disc on another computer.

Long live VLC!

Anyone need a hanger?

Authentic Louis Vuitton coat hanger, roughly AUD2,035.00, possibly the most ridiculous item I've seen on eBay so far.

Hello. Again.

Okay, I'm back. Looks like the new blog wasn't working out. My creative control was limited and the Google Ads littered indiscriminately in between the posts included those targeted for people with sperm issues. So I'm back here.

If you do happen to see my posts on another website, please let me know. No, I won't change the URL anymore.

Moved

I've just shifted to another domain. The old posts shall remain here as they are, but for updates, please go to janbanks.vitaeblog.com.

Curiouser and curiouser...

As you can see, my readership has somewhat spiked (i.e. sextupled in number of hits) in the last couple of days. At first I thought it must have been a fluke. Actually I still think it’s a fluke, albeit a very happy one.

The referrer’s analysis keeps leading me to the Google main page, so I have no idea where my traffic stems from. Can any of you kind readers just let me know how you stumbled upon my humble little (sub) domain?

I wonder if someone promoted this as a porn site. In which case, it’s not. Really.