Surprised kitten

Okay, I know this is old hat, but OMG THIS IS SO OFF THE CUTE-O-METER.

You know who doesn't love Steve Jobs?

C is very much against my intention to get an iPhone 4, and everything Apple in general. I'm certain he's only a few days away from withholding sex into getting me to buy an Android phone.

C: You know who uses an iPhone? (insert name of obnoxious acquaintance), that's who! Do you want to become like her? Huh?

Jan: Have you sunken to that level already?

C: You know who doesn't use an iPhone? Barack Obama, that's who. And he's a pretty cool guy.

Jan: What if Nelson Mandela uses an iPhone?

C: Well, then he's a dick! I mean, the man wrote a book called Conversations With Myself.

Yeah, he did.

Jan: Well, Gollum doesn't use an iPhone.

C: He's better than Mandela then.

Jan: Are you comparing Gollum to Nelson Mandela?

C: ...

Doppelganger

So yesterday, C and I were watching Happiness, a 1998 black comedy. From the first scene, I could not help but notice the uncanny resemblance between Jane Adams and my boyfriend. The large, sleepy eyes, the thin face and nose...

Here, you judge for yourself.

Good grief, even the positions of the eyes and eyebrows are congruent. Ignore girly pose.

* Credit to C, for being a sport and for composite image. I ♥ you, honey.

We live in Singapura

I may not be Singaporean, but we are pretty much the two only nationalities who can appreciate the awkward beauty of bahasa rojak.

The best Valentino quote ever

(best appreciated when said out loud in a bad Italian accent with lots of hand gestures)

When asked what advice he would pass on to young designers in Harpers Bazaar,

"... they take a piece of cloth, pin, pin, pin and they make a big pouf and to try to get rid of everything, they put a huge belt. No, no, no."

Dogs and cats

This caused C to tear. The video below is just off the cute spectrum.

We also showered the cat today. Fleas. He reacted surprisingly well and does not hate us, though we were taken aback by the decibels of the initial alarmed miaows.

WTF EPF

I was looking up some information on the EPF site today. I'm torn between appreciating the whole semangat rojak going on and feeling embarrassed that my government can't even standardize their language on a public website.

Random things

Whilst deciding which files will survive my laptop reformatting, I came across these little pieces of photographic nostalgia.

A view of the Gold Coast from the Q1 with KG.

Riga, from PVDB's trip.


Me and my two little munchkin friends, who are now married (!!!). Tioman in 2005. On the hellish bus ride to the jetty, I sat by an ulamah who screamed his head off because I wearing a sleeveless tee and three quarter pants. Seriously.


The same trip. Brocolli island in the distance as we do a G-rated moon.

On a 3 day, 2 night liveaboard on the Great Barrier Reef in 2006, earning my diving licence. Photo taken by X. Note ridiculously tall Dutch people in surrounds.

One of my most favourite photos ever. The lick was unexpected and very welcome. Singapore 2006 with KJ.

Sigh. The new wing of MidValley. I miss the gigantic centres of mass consumption. And European high street brands.

Pavilion, all shiny and new. Let's hope their management checks for reindeer testicles for this Christmas' decorations.

My French class on the last day of the last term.

The roost is currently ruled by Emperor Moe, as SK, our flatmate has returned to Slovenia. Moe is a bit of an arsehole, but we love him to bits anyway. He alternates between shredding my arm for no apparent reason to acting like a tempura prawn.

"Hi! I'm a cute kitty! Please disregard the fact I just scratched you, left fur all over your fingers so you couldn't use your iPod Touch, constantly interrupt you by sitting on whatever you're doing and then bit you... and feed me. And clean my poo."

"No? Imma seal! How can you resist a cute little furry seal?"

Damn You Auto Correct

This site should be spread generously. Like love and peanut butter.

The other day at Robina

I was observing some fake moles at a novelty shop. These came with hairs on them, not unlike the one on my brother's face, which I fear mine may morph into.

Someone then stroked my hair.

Now, C is very much a cat person and therefore has a habit of stroking my head and scratching me behind the ears. I have long learnt to stop taking offense at this and instead accept the fact that there will come a day, when he kisses the cat and pats me on the head.

ANYWAY. I turn around and this old lady is standing there, with an expression of utter horror, her hand still frozen in the air. Her grandson stood obliviously nearby. "I'm so sorry! Your hair looked too nice to be real! I thought it was a wig and I was going to pull it off!"

At this I looked around, wondering if I had unwittingly placed myself in the wig section. This is a novelty shop, after all. Nope, no wigs.

I suddenly recalled the time I was 12, innocently checking out some books at the PJ Big Bookshop when someone hugged me from behind. Like full body hug. Then a kiss on the head. You should have seen the guy's face when I turned out not to be his girlfriend.

"That's okay. It happens to me more often than you think."

Community

"By the way Jeff, I think your shirt's trying to get out of your pants."

Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?

Aunty Lil and I were discussing swear words (amongst other things). She believes "the c-word" is worse than the f one. C agreed. I'm immune to any shock value common swear words may offer and am much more impressed with aptly-used, slightly obscure adjectives (current favourite: obtuse).

Anyway I looked up this c-word in the name of research and Wikipedia coughed up this little gem. Aussie politics: awesome stuff.

Even Parliaments are not immune from punning uses; as recalled by former Australian prime minister Gough Whitlam:

Never in the House did I use the word which comes to mind. The nearest I came to doing so was when Sir Winton Turnbull, a member of the cavalleria rusticana, was raving and ranting on the adjournment and shouted: "I am a Country member". I interjected "I remember". He could not understand why, for the first time in all the years he had been speaking in the House, there was instant and loud applause from both sides.

Conversations with my mother

DISCLAIMER: My mother and I ♥ each other very much. We just enjoy the odd nonsensical variation of the lectures/ monologues she gives me (usually pertaining to my declining state of spirituality/ what other people think of me/ how much our or her friend's relatives make).


Ma: For heavens sake, if you intend to do such things, don't broadcast them. Don't forget your father and I are alive and kicking!

Jan: That's very un-... nevermind.

Ma: You were about to say unfortunate weren't you?

Jan: Yes.

Ma: Bad girl! You might as well drown your own parents!

Jan: Don't worry Ma. When you die, I will have you cremated and flush your ashes down the toilet.

Ma: Don't talk nonsense.

Jan: Oh alright. I know you want to your urn to be beside Aunty Kim's. I'll even mix your ashes together and give it a little shake.

Ma: I changed my mind. I'm divorcing Aunty Kim.


Later on,

Ma: Don't be such a donkey.

Jan: But as my mother, if I'm a donkey, what are you?

Ma: ...

Literal version

Thanks to C, trawler of internets and all useless information. I had tears streaming down my cheeks for this one.

Quotables today

DR: Don't contaminate my meat with your vegetables!

* * *

SC: I like tomato juice because it tastes like tomatoes.

* * *

C: I can't wait to marry you and fill you up with babies!

Jan: ...

C: You aren't running away.

Jan: You're holding my hand.

I, moron

One evening KG and I strolled out to Surfers Paradise in search of tiramisu. There was a small crowd gathered around a young Asian street performer. Nearby stood a cardboard sign with a flag, indicating his nationality.

Jan: That's for all you white people who can't tell he's Japanese.

KG: ... that's a Korean flag.

Jan: All those bloody Asians look alike!

KG: ...

Merde

C: Just making sure you're not pullin the ol' fake number trick

Jan: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. (which probably requires a guest blog entry on its own)

C: I'M FULL OF OWLS! I NEED A RADICAL OWLECTOMY!

Jan: Maybe you meant bowels. But if you're full of bowels, won't you also be full of...

Guest blog! (sort of)

SE, my new flatmate, is possibly the most likeable person I've ever met. Both of us being newly single, bitch and moan about our terrible love lives. Today, she's taken to asking me how to do her physics questions (why anyone would include physics in a dentistry course is completely beyond me). Ah, the futility. The only thing I remember about Fizik is making Encik Zainab cry. Completely unintentional and unexpected.

With her permission, I've obtained an email which is the written equivalent of drunk dialing. This is what happens when the laptop is within reach at 2am in the morning and you're freaking out over your ex, spine and exams (order possibly incorrect).

i think
young romeo that you might acheive yyour aim, but that it will not send you in the right direction
be single..find yourself, get to know the new you.
don't look for answers by moving in with someone
be hapy with yourself. Build nnew more solid, and better version of jon, and tge relationships jon is involved in... make them stronger.
i just saw people in my room.. but there are no people... it
s so fucked up... lol pill sleep now
by xo

Moral of the story: This place might be haunted.

The Boob Apron

In lieu of my temporary blogging slowdown, I give you... the Boob Apron.

P/S: LSFW; turn down the volume.

Quotes of the day - the Baltic version

Michal: I talk a lot, no? But that's okay, everyone is entitled to my opinion!

* * *

Michal: Come sailing with me!

Jan: You can bring RD along!

RD: I will commit suicide.

Michal: I will throw her overboard!

RD: You'll be doing me a favour.