The dent in X's heart

My poor boyfriend. Innocently parked his car at a client's and WHAM! Next thing you know, there's a giant dent on his beloved car (whom I used to think of as Sue - the most commonly recurring name in his long list of conquests exes).

I curse the other party to lose all their hair and teeth and develop boils on their cheeks and a goiter on their necks the size of a softball. Sort of like Freakshow in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, minus the sexy wife. Oh and of course, develop haemorrhoids so huge, they'll need a whooppie cushion to sit down. And what the heck, I'll throw in constipation for good measure.