Eternal sunshine of my spotless mind

I'm exceptionally blessed with three very distinctive traits - I am non judgmental (almost to the point of oblivion), terribly forgetful and possess the innate ability to look deceptively attentive (very useful in classes). Combined, it makes me a good listener. Even if just a pretend one.

I had blissfully assumed everyone else to be the same. A deeply philosophical talk with my brother yesterday led me discover otherwise.

I realised this - people do want to be better. Everyone just wants a second chance. But if others keep reminding them of their past mistakes and expecting the worst, how will they ever find the courage to make the U turn? It'd be simply easier to plow along and let the self-fulfilling prophecies run their course.

I know those three characteristics aforementioned don't sound too ideal. But they work for me. I don't hold grudges. Mostly because I don't tend to remember who wronged me or how. So what if it's ignorance? As long as I'm happy.

It also makes me an excellent candidate when people need to spill their beans to someone who's not going to tell them, I told you so.

I think a lot of people really just need someone to listen. Not to give advice, because deep down inside, they already know what they need to do. Talking about it helps draw it out, gives them courage to do the right thing. However talking to the wrong person is often counterproductive. Schadenfreude is a miserable thing that makes the world go round.

Or those who dish out baseless, unsolicited advice. It's patronizing and rude. Most people are a lot brighter than they're given credit for. They just need a nudge in the right direction, not a shove.

As an external auditor, I spend most of my time at client sites. You'd be surprised how lonely most top level managers are. Some will just sneak over into my room to let slip how incompetent they feel they are. Some confide how they hate their jobs but can't leave - there are too many mortgages to pay. Or how all they ever wanted to do was own a fruit orchard. It's strange how I'm supposed to be evaluating their performance, amongst other things, and here they are, pouring their hearts out.

Sometimes all we need to do is listen, for someone else's chance at redemption.