Ne pas s'oublier sans rien dire

Oh, and C got a car!

At the Eddie Kornhauser park with C, just before his dad's birthday party. Our Star Wars card (A long, long time ago... *cue theme music* You were born.) was well-received.

Boofta the Poofter - his nose always up someone's skirt.

After a sleepless night on my part, C and I set off to Byron Bay to do the usual boring touristy thing. But first a stop at the local op shop so I didn't look ridiculously overdressed in a hippy town (ombre size 10 skirt worn as a dress, with a child's belt). I hadn't been up Cape Byron for ages though. The downpour had us scurrying down the hill, soaked.


3 hours of sleep, 1 hour of watching C dozing peacefully, admiring his tenacity to sleep through trucks, traffic and noisy neighbours, lawn mowers and the cat playing hopcrotch and I was up at 6am for a 2 hour long walk.

I think it's an egret.

Moe rests on the power supply box. Then awoke our guest late at night by placing a curious paw on his head. And us, via hopcrotch.

I needed a haircut, so Aunty Lil made an outing of it. We headed to this Korean place in Sunnybank Plaza. And I then remembered why I hate going to Asian hairdressers.

Jan: Well can you keep the length, but thin it a little? Also, the back keeps tangling...

Hairdresser: ?

Jan: I mean, don't make it too short, but layer it maybe? Just get rid of the tangled bits.

Hairdresser: ?

Jan: ... nevermind. Just do it like that lady beside me.

It turned out very similar to Ramona Flowers' hairstyle, which was a blessing since C and I are massive fans of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (how can anyone not fall in love with Michael Cera?).

Aunty Lil's creepy foot growth, which moves. Like a movie prop from a B grade movie.

Our foray with the slow cooker was a success! Beef ribs and vegetables.

Rabbit dropping cake. I kid. The recipe called for 2 punnets of blueberries. At AUD7.99 each, I was about to call it quits but we spotted this wonderous invention known to the common world as canned fruit, at a fraction of the price.

A lovely little nook nearby with very decent AUD5 weekend breakfasts (sausage, bacon, tomato, mushooms, toast and egg) and cheap drinks. I'm too selfish to publicise the location though, so email me if you want to know where it is.

Christmas decorations all up already.

A mishap with the Very Awesome Grater. C has officially forbidden me from all kitchen appliances involving sharp blades. Fortunately, the removed epidermis did not fall into the grated cheese but stuck firmly to the blade (unlike the Salad Incident '02). The wound is fairly sizeable and a bit of a bleeder. Brushing one's teeth left-handedly is a nightmare.

The other day at Robina

I was observing some fake moles at a novelty shop. These came with hairs on them, not unlike the one on my brother's face, which I fear mine may morph into.

Someone then stroked my hair.

Now, C is very much a cat person and therefore has a habit of stroking my head and scratching me behind the ears. I have long learnt to stop taking offense at this and instead accept the fact that there will come a day, when he kisses the cat and pats me on the head.

ANYWAY. I turn around and this old lady is standing there, with an expression of utter horror, her hand still frozen in the air. Her grandson stood obliviously nearby. "I'm so sorry! Your hair looked too nice to be real! I thought it was a wig and I was going to pull it off!"

At this I looked around, wondering if I had unwittingly placed myself in the wig section. This is a novelty shop, after all. Nope, no wigs.

I suddenly recalled the time I was 12, innocently checking out some books at the PJ Big Bookshop when someone hugged me from behind. Like full body hug. Then a kiss on the head. You should have seen the guy's face when I turned out not to be his girlfriend.

"That's okay. It happens to me more often than you think."

The plastic stick in my arm

Okay girls and boys, today we talk business: birth control. Whilst we will not speak of the act that necessitates the procedure, I shall talk you through my experience with Implanon.

After a bit of research, I decided upon it because:

a) It's the most cost effective: AUD290 for 3 years, with AUD130 reimbursed by Medicare.
b) No other steps necessary: Most oral contraceptives need to be taken daily, in a timely fashion.
c) Has 0.02% chance of failure.

I had a half hour consultation with a very nice doctor at the Gold Coast Women's Health Centre and had a surgery scheduled for the next Monday in spite of my doubts. The list of possible side effects is ridiculously long; I was in a happy place, physically and mentally and did not wish to rock that boat.

Come Monday, C came along dutifully for the obligatory hand holding. Whilst the implant itself is only about 4cm long, the applicator comes with a DO NOT BE ALARMED BY SIZE OF APPLICATOR warning.

I was duly alarmed.

The anaesthetic shot was quite painful. C's enthusiastic exclaimations of horror were most unhelpful. I cringed and looked the other way. Now, anaesthesia and I occasionally don't get along (i.e. Lasik surgery), so I was relieved to feel nothing during the actual insertion but C's firm grip on my left ankle.

Only after I got over the queasiness of having a foreign object in my body, did I permit C to describe in great detail, how the applicator looked probing around through my skin (really gross, huge and invasive - see bruise below).



Jan: Can I drive home?

Doctor: Of course!

Jan: ...

Doctor: ... I mean you can't do any cooking or housework for a week.

Jan: A month?

Doctor: I mean, a month. Right.

C: I'll take care of her. (He made me instant noodles for dinner.)

Anyhow it's been about six weeks or so now.

The little dot is the extent of my scarring

Pros

- Not preggers


Cons (all chronic - some days I'm totally fine)

- Weight gain: Yet to be quantified because I illogically enough, believe that knowing the actual number will realise the gain. But my shorts which could previously be removed sans unbuttoning is now tight. I do believe much of this is water retention though - the day to day fluctuation is simply too great to be actual fat.

- Joint pain: Mostly my left wrist, now extended to several fingers. One morning, I couldn't even squeeze the toothpaste out. Ibuprofen to the rescue!

- Headache: Only occured twice so far. But completely debilitating - I spent two whole days in bed.

- Acne: Slightly worse than before.

- Bleeding: This is the worst one. According to some forum posts, it's not uncommon for some women to experience it for the entire duration of the implantation. My doctor had assured me mine was unlikely to be bad, given my size and normal period cycle. WRONG. Like everything else, it comes and goes. But mostly stays. Now I just gaze wistfully at the ivory 300 threadcount Egyptian cottons. A girl still can dream.

Conclusion: I'm lazy; it was the right choice for me. Another common side effect is depression. Strangely enough, C claims that I'm a lot more cheerful now (though it's more likely due to the fact he met me when I was PMS-ing and heartbroken).

Community

"By the way Jeff, I think your shirt's trying to get out of your pants."

Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?

Aunty Lil and I were discussing swear words (amongst other things). She believes "the c-word" is worse than the f one. C agreed. I'm immune to any shock value common swear words may offer and am much more impressed with aptly-used, slightly obscure adjectives (current favourite: obtuse).

Anyway I looked up this c-word in the name of research and Wikipedia coughed up this little gem. Aussie politics: awesome stuff.

Even Parliaments are not immune from punning uses; as recalled by former Australian prime minister Gough Whitlam:

Never in the House did I use the word which comes to mind. The nearest I came to doing so was when Sir Winton Turnbull, a member of the cavalleria rusticana, was raving and ranting on the adjournment and shouted: "I am a Country member". I interjected "I remember". He could not understand why, for the first time in all the years he had been speaking in the House, there was instant and loud applause from both sides.

A week of miscellany

Remember the gallah our friend Mike rescued? Chup Chup is now fully recovered, has done 2,000km on the road and in perfect health. He was released this morning back into the wild.


One of the twin lions at the gates of Castle Rumble.


The aforementioned Castle Rumble.


C's friends got married in a rather unorthodox wedding, The ceremony involved some sort of "binding" where the salmon of wisdom was mentioned. You can't see from here but the groom wore a LOT of make up. Not to mention about half a head taller than C, who is 6' 2".

(The __ tile is an E)

C was being disturbingly obscene during Scrabble. Incidentally, I won the last game by using all my tiles by spelling out HITTING. Attached to an S. C cleared the board before I managed to take a photo.

A tranquil little spot near home away from the madding crowd.

A bouquet stolen gathered during a morning stroll.

Chocolate fondue at Max Brenners. I never thought I'd say this, but there is such a thing as too much chocolate.

Lebanese food at No-No's on Red Hill. Pretty decent and probably authentic, looking at the customer demographic.

C: What part of Burlesque implies ugly women?

Jan: Probably the burly part.

Guitar shop:

PUSH

Heavy Door

From Mental Institution

A view of Paddington, my vision of happy suburbia. Paddington in Sydney is my vision of happy suburbia sans kids.

C and I made pancakes. We are now being disturbingly domestic, cemented by buying a SLOW COOKER together, from Target no less. How scary is that?

SE is always a comfort to be around, especially during minor crises. We found Mr Puffer Fish on our walkie (yes, we name things). Then we did Asian Poses with him. He would have made a great substitute for a Jack 'o' Lantern.

Update: She's decided to name him Charles instead. Oh well.

And the pièce de résistance. Just so you know, he came up with this caption on his own. It is quite apt though. Just look at the cat's expression.