Just pretend the bloodstains are salad dressing

Jan: Ow!

KG: Did you cut yourself again?

Jan: It's only the third time in 3.5 weeks!

KG: And that's not a lot?

Jan: Well I still have 7 other fingers not cut.

KG: ...

Jan: My accident rate is 30%.

KG: *drags me upstairs for tea-tree-oil-and-band-aid treatment*