Yehudim

According to my statistics, about half you readers are Malaysians. And if you check the last page of your nice maroon passport, you'll realise we can't travel to Israel, if you haven't noticed it already (which a surprising amount of you lot haven't).

Prior to accepting my current job, my only contact with Israelis was a long, borderline philosophical conversation with a nice Jewish man before, during a trip to Thailand on the kosher-ness of foods and the logic ("What logic?") behind the restrictions etc.

So it's terribly ironic the folk at New Job all hail from Israel. Now I've been accused of being terribly Westernised, but I think of myself more as secular. And truthfully, I've always been uncomfortable around people who are too parochial - I just can't relate.

Yet their graciousness just transcends all the boundaries. Yes, they speak in Hebrew all the time; yes, their eating habits are quite different; yes, I get headaches from sorting out their Israeli receipts when bookkeeping (the trick is to match the dates and amounts to the bank statements). But they always let me in on the conversation. They feed me (anyone who feeds me is on my good side, really). They are always concerned for my wellbeing and are the most honest, nicest, kindest, most sincere people I have had the pleasure of working with in the longest time. Remember I come from very corporate, Dilbert-esque, kiasu office culture - backstabbing and gossiping is the norm.

Four weeks into the job, I've already picked up a little bit of the culture. And since many of you may never get the chance to step into Israel, here's a mish mash of Jewish trivia. (Disclaimer: Um, may not be factual.)

- Shalom can be used as hello, goodbye and peace be with you.
- Hebrew is written from right to left. However, do not exclaim that it's "written backwards" because you'll be informed that the language precedes English.
- The Hebrew alphabet does not contain any vowels, or capital letters and to a Gentile such as myself, looks like neatly spaced poseur tapeworms.
- SS taught me the Jewish version of bon apetit today but I forget.
- Many American celebrities actually have Jewish heritage. Some common surnames are Cohen/ Coen, anything ending with a -berg.
- Jewish given names always have beautiful meanings. Examples: Gal - waves, Shelly - "May I?", Kesem - magic, Tal - dew.
- In spite being smack in the middle of the Middle East, Israel is an incredibly green country famous for the landscaping.
- Israelis are not allowed in Muslim countries, hence flights tend to transit in Europe.
- The Jewish calendar is a lunar one, as opposed to the Gregorian solar calendar used mostly around the world. For this reason, Muslim and Jewish festivities tend to fall around the same time. (The sheer irony...)

I am so blessed.