How thee annoy me, let me count the ways

As we say in Chinese, my tail has been trodden on of the late.

1. Unnecessary negative comments. Unless it's constructive criticism, I believe in the old adage If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.

2. People who talk loudly in public. Hello, bogan teenage girls!

3. Fake accents. If I can live here for a year and (mostly) socialise with locals and only acquire the slightest hint of Aussiness when I say, I don't know (I DON'T KNOI), then you sure as hell shouldn't sound like Steve Irwin.

4. People who compare themselves to others. I mean, I'm susceptible to the odd OMG, she's so gorgeous I feel like a squashed toad in comparison moment, but when you have people going around asking for your vital stats so they can see how they measure up, it's tantamount to stalking.

5. Nosiness. How much I earn, how often and if I do 'do it', why I haven't gotten married, what's wrong with me why don't I want kids is none of anyone's business but mine, thankyouverymuch.

6. Relatives. See number 5.

7. People who substitute adjectives/ verbs/ nouns etc with swear words innecessantly. You're not cool, just have severely impeded vocabulary.

8. Office gossips and politics. Chances are, you're a non-performer to have to resort to these.

9. Inefficient people who always claim to be busy. Listen pal, if you haven't worked in a sweat shop an audit firm in East Asia before, then you have no idea what busy is. Busy means totally forgetting all human needs, including eating, pissing and showering at least once a day. Busy means not seeing your partner or family or friends for weeks or months. Busy means getting 8 hours of sleep... over a week. Busy means working so late that by the time you look up, the security guard has left and you're locked in the building (true story). Busy means not having time to read this blog.

10. People who just say something for the sake of saying something. Silence is golden. Also see no. 1.